Left Behind

My partner is trying to lose weight. I love her just as she is, but she feels the need to drop a few pounds. Whatever. If that makes her happy then of course I’m all for it.

To help her on this mission she decided to start taking a slug of acai berry Ultra-Slim every morning with breakfast, and then a couple of times throughout the day. I really didn’t understand what the attraction was, but I’m not one to get in the way of a determined girl with a plan. I shook my head sympathetically and let her get on with it.

Then one day I succumbed and took a gulp of Ultra-Slim before lunch. I went back to work and, to my amazement, didn’t start feeling hungry until 3pm – a good two hours after I normally eat. I carried on as normal. I knew that acai berry was supposed to retard hunger pangs, but I didn’t realize that it would have so much of an effect. To test my theory I ate lunch as normal then took a gulp before dinner. Sure enough I wasn’t that hungry. Odd.

I only took one shot of the thick puree, so it can’t have been that that filled me up. Impressive stuff!

In fact after I got the bottle I noticed that acai berry Ultra-Slim has Essentra Slim in it. A quick bout of Internet research later revealed that Essentra is a patented chemical designed just for the purpose of suppressing hunger. The advantages of this for anyone wanting to lose weight are immediate. I was hooked!

I don’t particularly want to lose weight, but acai berry gives me many other benefits. I take back all the criticism of my girl! Sorry, honey…